Big Daddy Jumbo Lighter

Overview:

Sometimes bigger is better. Imagine the look on your friend's faces when you produce this giant lighter from your pocket. They'll be even more amazed when you flip the hinged top and spark up a three-and-a-half inch flame.

Big Daddy Jumbo Lighter - $ 14.95
From: Vat19
Perfect for setting stuff on fire :).

Anybody got a light?

The next time a beautiful lady asks, "Anybody got a light?", you'll smirk knowing that no matter how quickly the other gents produce lights, you'll be the only one who captures her attention. Once your giant lighter gets you a few minutes of one-on-one, then you can give her your annoying lecture on the dangers of cigarettes, thus ending your opportunity to end your dating drought.

The Big Daddy Jumbo Lighter is nearly 7 inches tall and holds 6 ounces of lighter fuel.

Jumbo Lighter is perfect for concerts!

Nowadays, concert-goers will waive any puny light-emitting device during a power ballad. Some people put a picture of a lighter on their cell phone and wave that around. Wow, that's soooo r-o-c-k.

With the Big Daddy Jumbo Lighter, you're saying to your fellow music lovers, "Move aside as I raise my giant torch to the Gods of Rock. I wouldn't want you to get burned." Don't be surprised if the lead singer notices your God-like flame and invites you on stage to rip an ear-melting guitar solo.

This Giant Lighter will minimize, but not completely cure SDS

SDS (Severe Douchebag Syndrome) is a non-life-threatening condition that is characterized by massive amounts of hair gel, obnoxious facial and hand gestures, a lack of buttoned shirts, excessive man-jewelry, and fake tans. A Big Daddy Jumbo Lighter is recognized in most medical journals as having a significant positive effect in reducing SDS behavior.

As you'll see in the before and after photos below, the giant novelty lighter's effect is oftentimes breathtaking.

SDS photo (before introduction of the Jumbo Lighter)

As you can see in the picture below, our subject is experiencing a full-on SDS flare-up. Our forensic photo examiners postulate that this SDS sufferer may even wax his eyebrows. His SDS index is dangerously high at positive 13.5. (Side note: While there is no theoretical limit to the SDS index, the current high score of 19.5 is shared by all three Gotti boys.)

After the introduction of the Jumbo Lighter, SDS index drops 15 points!

As the "after" photo shows, our SDS sufferer is still hanging out at the club, but he's lost the fake necklace, ridiculous jacket, hand jewelry, and head tilt. However, the introduction of the Jumbo Lighter was unable to cure the facial smirks and hand gestures. In summary, we believe the Jumbo Lighter to be an effective weapon against SDS.

Yes, this giant lighter can fit into the pocket of some jeans.

Buy One?

Big Daddy Jumbo Lighter - $ 14.95
From: Vat19