The USB Plasma Ball

Overview:

Fifth degree blackbelts can harness the energy of the USB Plasma Ball and throw bolts of plasma like Zeus throws bolts of lighting. But, you are probably not a 5th degree blackbelt. Perhaps you once made awesome action movies and then you started getting all political and fat and started recording blues records. Steven Seagal, why!?!?!

The point is that even if you aren't Bruce Lee, you can still enjoy the coolness of the Plasma Ball in a desk-sized USB-powered configuration. Simply plug it in, flip the on/off switch, and enjoy!

The Power of Plasma compels you!

The photo below has not been altered or photoshopped in any way, shape or form. By connecting five USB Plasma Balls to one Dell computer whose hard drive has failed and which has basically become a portable USB power source, we were able to open a vortex to another dimension very similar to the one used in StarGate. So, we suggest buying at least five USB Plasma Balls if you want to experience intergalactic space travel.

Connect multiple USB Plasma Balls to one computer and unlock portals to other dimensions.

The USB Plasma Ball cannot control your mind

However, you can control the USB Plasma Ball with your mind. Use your mind to tell your hands to add one of these to your cart and complete your order. When the USB Plasma Ball arrives in a shiny Vat19.com box, use your powers of telekinesis to plug it into your computer's USB port and turn on the device.

By simply thinking about it, we have made this USB Plasma Ball create a spectacular light show.

Infrequently Asked Questions about the USB Plasma Ball

Question: Will owning a USB Plasma Ball (and the associated awesomeness that accompanies said ownership) negate the lameness associated with owning Kelly Clarkson's entire discography?

Answer: That's a loaded question. It's cool to say that Kelly Clarkson is lame, but secretly we love KC and we know all of the nay-sayers secretly love her, too. So, here's what we suggest: Buy two USB Plasma Balls to negate the ill effects from owning anything associated with Bobby Brown.

Question: Do you honestly believe that all of this tongue-in-cheek and snarky writing is witty and cool?

Answer: No, but we think that anyone who is over 45 and owns a Porsche (pronounced poor-shaaa) is Mr. Awesome.

Features & specs:

• USB powered (no external power source needed)
• PC and Mac compatible (as long as you have a USB port)
• 4" diameter x 5.5" tall
• On/off switch
• 4 foot long USB cable
• 10 out of 10 on awesomeness scale